The journalists at the Onion News Network will do anything to stay at the top of their game. And if they can't find a great story, they'll create one.
as David Bryant
as Sam West
as Jillian
as Ed Musgrove
as Helena Zweibel
as Cameron Grey
as Courtney Carter
as Abigail
as Daytime News Anchor (as Jodi Applegate-Kay)
as Kip O'Rourke
as Terrorist
as Vivian
as Archibald Zweibel
as Father Zweibel
as Kid
as Old Lady
as Producer
as Kidnapper (uncredited)
